he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
