Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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