Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
