i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize