Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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