she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
