just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
