Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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