you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
