Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
