ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
