mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Randomize
