Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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