I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
