Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
