Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize