Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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