She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
