No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
