I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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