It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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