he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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