If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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