girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
