go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
