i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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