he shaved USA in his pubs
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
