i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
