talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
