sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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