soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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