I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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