The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
