I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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