i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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