This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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