Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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