we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
