Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize