Did you just see the Batmobile???
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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