She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
