You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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