The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
