Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
