Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
are you so shy because you have an std?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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