HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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