Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
