you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
