It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
