Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
