just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
