Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
