Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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