Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
