I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
