'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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